I still have homework so I'll make this brief.

Friday was a BLAST! The football game for one was one of the better games I'll ever go to. Just because I acted like a big band geek with all my friends, got to talk to a bunch of graduated friends, and made the one person whom I wish would have never been born jealous out of her mind! HAHAHA I am so evil! But hey, whatever works!

Saturday I worked all day and got together with Tony all night. We went to see The Village, (which was one of my better choices quotes Tony... I like it so ... take that!) then to his camper at the fair where his family was chillin eating and stuff like that. Dan came later on and we chilled. It was rainy so that wasnt that fun.

Sunday I wake up to the dreadful thought that I left my class ring at the movie theatre in Tiffin. So I run around the house with a pit in my stomach and my head in a tiz and decide to tell my mom, who in turn throws a fit. I told her not to tell Dad, and it's been that way ever since. Tony and I are going back around 2 to pick it up hopefully someone turned it into the management.. Oh Please oh please! Then later on I still have homework to finish up. This sucks majorly sucks. I have an Algebra 2 quiz on monday and I have to read chapter 3 in Of Mice and Men. Crazyness I tell ya!

I better get my shit in gera for tomorrow. No more of this forgetfulness nonsense. Tomorrow I have band so take my shit to school with me afterwards. And so tomorrow is all I'll worry about for now.

Ya know that feeling when theres something going on behind your back but you just don’t know what? I have that feeling right now. It might be school related, might not be. But I feel left out or cheated on and it's not a very happy feeling. It might be good, but I am really leaning towards it being bad. What can I say? Psychic jeans run in the blood. (hahaha... thank you aunt fran)

I'm just not happy. Emotionally drained and unhappy. School plays a big part of it and I know that because I had a long chat with Ranae today about this. Nothing of me is missing and if I let go something will be missed, but that’s life huh? (I can feel a knot forming in my stomach as I type this) Things change, people change. I just feel like I haven’t had the time to really get to know a person.

To quote Fez; "It’s no you, is me. No wait, is you. Goodbye!" But is that the way I should go? Just forget about it and don’t look back? Should I say goodbye to something I held dear for a long time? No, no. I cant do it. I’d break down.

On the other side, life is full of choices. Sometimes you make right choices, others you make dumb choices. I’m trying to feel how I would feel if I let go. And I just feel numb, a wave just ran from my toes and I could feel it in my shoulders. (unless that’s just pressure from school) Tapping this whole thing out with Ranae made me realize the good in all of this. What I have, and where we are. It’s hard, but I think I know what I’m going to do.

"You were all the things I thought I knew. And I thought we could be.. You were everything, everything that I wanted. We we’re meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. All of the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending. It’s nice to know that you were there, Thanks for acting like you cared, and making me feel like I was the only one. It’s nice to know we had it all, thanks for watching as I fall. And letting me know we were done."

Just felt like quoting Avirl. (dont ask)

I dont want this to be too long, so I'll just stop for now. I better go finish my homework and take some nyquil or tylonal. I'm just not in the mood.

So today was the first day of school. Big whoop. Waking up at 5:30am, washing my hair, dressing up, doing the makeup-by the end of the day meant nothing. I've officially decided that school is overrated. Even though I had a fantastic first day, it was just really boring and it felt like I didnt even have a summer vacation. Although this was by far the best summer of my life, it felt like it never even happened.

Eric Egert is back. yay... not.

I know why I feel disorganized and incomplete! I havent re-capped the summer in all it's wonders. TAKING THE ACT w/o ANDY WHO FORGOT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, GODSPELL, GETTING SOCRATES , CREATING DANCES, THE BOOTY DANCE TO DIP IT LOW W/ ALI and BINTA INFRONT OF THE MIRROR, BLOW DRYING ALI's PITS AT INTERMISSION, PARTIES, DRIVERS ED, PASSING BY ONE POINT, GETTING THE LICENSE, DRIVING FOR THE FIRST TIME, CONTRAVERSY w/ THE DEVIL, WORKING AT THE FAIR WITH ALI, GOING TO SEE THE VILLAGE WITH THE T-CREW, GOING ON DATES WITH TONY, MODELING WITH JESS AND BRETT, APPLYING AT DQ/KROGERS/OLE ZIMS/APPLEBEES/SAM GOODY AND NOT RECIEVEING A CALL BACK, NOT BEING ABLE TO WORK AT STARBUCKS FOR FEAR THAT I'D GET SHOT (my wonderful parents.. gotta love em) BAND CAMP, SENIOR NITE, SLUMBER PARTIES, PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE IN WOODVILLE AND HAVING THE PO-PO's COME CHECK OUT THE TENT BECAUSE THEY SAW SOMETHING, GETTING ICE CREAM WITH ALI AND ANDY....and now school. That feels so much better! My life is complete! Atleast my life up until now...

Well I better get offline before I puke! Make it happen people!

I'm back in Ohio!!! YAY!

While I was gone I heard that there has been some FCTT "talk" from Denise about Godspell and Amanda and people not showing up. Oh boy do I wish I were at that executive meeting the other day. I would have given her a piece of my mind, NO DOUBT! I feel so bad for Ali and Andy who were the only 2 there (besides the offspring of the rightful advisor and the offspring of the devil). Seriously, if I were there, the meeting would not have lasted 2 1/2 hours and none of this "talk" would have happened. I need to vent to Jason or something... (and my AIM is working now so that can be arranged!)

I'm sorry to Andy and Ali. I paid for it by taking them out to ice cream afterwards. I felt horrible. Oh well. I'm poor, happy and lovin life!!

Physically I'm ready for school. But mentally I'm not. The classes are going to suck and everywhere I go people tell me that the hardest year of high school is your junior year. Thats what I'm worried about **OH SHIT I have to have that NHS paper intialed and filled out! ALI I'M COMING OVER TONIGHT!!!*** Physically, I got the outfits all picked out! YAY This year I finally have NEW school clothes! I am proud. But that still doesnt shake my junior jitters...

I called Cory the other day. It was nice talking to him and catching up on all the things happening at school this year. Whats new is that Juni's going to SJCC. WHAT THE FUCK!  I'm gonna miss him so much, he's a cool friend. ALSO Phillip is moving to Nevada?!?!?! WTF?! I'm going to miss Chris like crazy! What is happening to Woodmore? I have no idea... JANINA IS IN TOWN AND SHE MAY COME TO THE FOOTBALL GAME ON FRIDAY!

OUR FIRST FOOTBALL GAME IS THIS FRIDAY AT PORT CLINTON! Oh yeah. We will kick so much ass. I'm wearing warna's jersey. All is right in the world... or so it seems...

In Kentucky at the moment so I'm going to make this entry short and sweet. Left Fremont on Friday and it took like 6 hours to get here. IT's NUTS! And its all for my uncle Mikes 50th birthday. We leave Sunday around maybe 10 or 11am. This is going to suck..

I feel really bad that I wont be at the first FCTT meeting, BUT HEY Neither is Megan. Although I am president and I'm not even showing up for these meetings! HAHAHA Sorry about that...I blame her

School starts Tuesday. Physically I'm realy, but mentally.. I dont think so. I am so not ready to handle my classes, I know I'm probibly going to drop jazz band and Algebra 2A. I feel so bad, but I honestly believe I can not handle it all! I mean I just got my saxophone THURSDAY! And I have alot of trouble trying to get that thing to make a noise! It's hard! I'm gonna be a junior! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that, oh God this year the sophomores are gonna get whats coming to them. I can feel it.. muwhaha... okay. I'm done.

Lets see.. OH my aunt read my palm today. She says that I'm going to have 3 children, and a failed marriage. A long life line and 4 jobs which I will love each one and it's not like I'm getting fired from those jobs, it's just that I get so many offerings. She says that I am very sensual (help me on the spelling) and that HIV is real and that I will probibly be very sexually active before I'm married. Thanks Aunt Fran...

Ya know I can predict the future too, and I believe that this year is going to be a good one. I can see it now!! hahaha picture me in a turbin with a crystal ball. HAHA Megan Casey.... Miss Cleo memories***

I feel really weird being on the computer at my cousins so I'm going to get off. See ya in school... or whatever.. leave me some love